I published this article on creativity on Feb 14th 2020 on a different blog, that I have decided to close down at the end of this year. I am therefore editing and republishing some of my articles here before I do so. This is the first of about half a dozen or so I intend to transfer here.
An outlet for creativity
I compose music. I never really thought about it much, I have just always done so, from when I first started teaching myself to play the piano as a child.
When my children were toddlers, I composed a piece of music for them. They loved rabbits, so I created a story about them to inspire my composition.
The story that inspired my piece
A group of rabbits have come out of their warren to graze in the evening. The older rabbits are nibbling on leaves, the younger ones are playing. Life seems carefree and they let their guard down as they enjoy the warm evening breeze.
Suddenly a fox appears and before they can react, she swiftly catches one in her mouth, taking the whole colony by surprise. They all rush for their burrows as fast as they can, but it’s too late for one of their group. As they realise what has happened a resigned sadness prevails.
But life goes on and they still need to eat. The rabbits understand the cycle of life and won’t let fear hold them back. Now they are wiser. Once the coast is clear they start to venture back out. Things return to how they were before the fox came and they eat and play as before.
This time though, they have learned their lesson and are on guard. They notice the second the fox reappears and run for safety as fast as they can. The story ends almost comically, as the final rabbit bounds into the burrow narrowly missing capture by the fox`s snapping jaws.
Doubts
The thing is, after I wrote this piece, I felt embarrassed by the simplicity of my story. There didn’t seem to be anything original or innovative about it at all. Surely this wasn’t real creativity? In fact it seemed a little childish and boring: rabbits getting chased by a fox? As if that hasn’t been done before?
I decided I was an imposter. Who did I think I was anyway? Me, a composer? I’d be laughed at by anyone serious about piano and composition. So, I hid my piece away. I shoved it into my black file of hidden compositions and forgot about it mostly. This sadly isn’t the only time I have felt like this about something I have created either.
Rediscovery
Then one day, something drew me to my composition file and I played it through for the first time in a few years. It surprised me actually, because I quite liked the music I was hearing. As usual when I look back at something I wrote, I wondered how on earth I had composed the piece and where my creativity had come from. I’ve never studied the art of composition.
To be honest when I write music it doesn’t feel like I am doing anything special. It feels more like the music is being channelled through me and I am just in charge of writing it down, almost like a spectator to the process. While writing, it flows naturally. It’s only afterwards I listen back and feel slightly bewildered as to how I did it.
As I was playing it again that day, I realised, creativity isn’t necessarily about the originality of the story. It’s about how you tell it, how you feel and how you express yourself. The story may have been told a million times before, but the way I tell it is unique because I am unique.
No more hiding my creativity
I don’t intend to hide my creativity away any more. At some point I am going to learn to play this piece again properly, polish it up and put it out there. I feel the same way about my writing. Why hide? It’s time to be brave and step into the arena, as Brené Brown would say.
[What’s wrong with] …”merely making things, and then sharing those things with an open heart and no expectations.” (The Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert.)
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