Gender Neutral Pronouns: They/Them/Their
Living in my own little bubble in Japan, I feel cut off from the rest of the world in some ways. The use of gender-neutral pronouns is a topic I have started to educate myself on. I decided to try and write a gender-neutral story for two reasons. Firstly, I love the idea of having characters that can be adapted to the genders and sexualities envisaged by the individual reader. Secondly, I basically wanted to practice. I admit I have much to learn. Once written, I checked the story for binary gender pronouns and I consequently had to edit two or three places where I had unconsciously used them. It is so ingrained.
Short Story by Helen Nomura
Their Long Distance Love Story
T stepped off the train and headed towards the arrivals hall, their stomach in knots. They glanced at their watch. This was it. The plane had landed a little while ago. Finally, after two years, they’d meet in person for the first time.
T remembered the first time they had seen J. They had both randomly joined a zoom event run by an online LGBTQ+ group. It had been a casual “get to know the other members” thing. Normally T stayed away from online events like that, but that day they’d been feeling a bit down and had desperately craved some human contact. So after a couple of beers for courage, T had spontaneously taken the leap and logged onto the video call.
There were only eight people on. It immediately felt intimidating and T began running through excuses in their head, planning to make a polite exit at the first opportunity. But as T hovered over the “leave call” button, their eyes fell on J, who had been called on to introduce themself next. There was something about J that just drew T’s attention. J was not even T’s normal type. Or at least T didn’t think they were. In all honesty, T wasn’t even sure what their type even was. Everything had turned upside down during the last couple of months, since embarking on the journey to embrace their authentic self. Sometimes it felt like the world was just spinning out of control and T was barely clinging on. Other times it just felt so blissfully joyous to no longer have to hide their truth.
For many years T had tried to live the cishet norm, pushing down their unease, all the while feeling and knowing deep down, that something was fundamentally wrong, but not really understanding what. T had questioned their own sanity, fearing there was something essentially wrong with them. And then one day a random meme doing the rounds on Facebook had caught their eye and it had suddenly all made sense. Life wasn’t black and white. There were shades of grey and that was perfectly okay.
T had been too shy to reach out to J initially. For several weeks they had bantered back and forth in comments on posts. Despite not even knowing that much about them, there was just something about J that drew T in. It was a pull that T didn’t really understand, but trusted completely. It just felt meant to be.
Then one day, J had posted something that had taken T aback. The raw vulnerability of J’s words struck a chord deep within them and T couldn’t ignore it. So they took the plunge and reached out privately. J had responded immediately and since then they had talked pretty much non-stop.
That was almost two years ago. A lot had happened since then, not least a pandemic that had made meeting up impossible.
Until now anyway.
T could feel the pounding of their heart as people filtered through the doors. Everyone was masked of course. It was surreal really. Almost hard to remember what things had been like before. T wondered not for the first time if the world would ever go back to normal.
T recognised J immediately. They both waved nervously. T could barely breathe as they waited for J to cross the short distance towards them.
“Hi,” J said awkwardly, stopping in front of T.
“Hi,” T replied. The nerves were overwhelming. What should they do? Hug? Kiss? Shake hands? T was still debating the right move when J made the decision for them and leaned in. A hug it was.
Despite the nerves, it felt natural to hold J in their arms. For so long T had confided in J. They had never connected with anyone this deeply before. Sometimes it felt almost as if J knew T better than they did themself. They had shared secrets from the deepest crevices of their souls and the beautiful thing was, J hadn’t run, as T had initially feared when first opening up. Instead, J had accepted them fully, the good, the bad, absolutely everything. It was the first time T didn’t need to pretend or try to be something they weren’t. It was completely authentic and it felt amazing.
Not that it had been easy over the last couple of years. The distance had been hard. Doubts had crept in. Would their love be real in person? Was it just an illusion? Were they just two lonely people, drawn together through a desperate longing for something that wasn’t really there? Was love even possible between two people who lived so far away, who had never met in real life?
T knew they had to try though and give it, whatever this was, a chance.
J slipped their fingers gently into T’s. T smiled and squeezed them back. J’s hand was warm, their grip firm, emanating the confidence and strength T was deeply drawn to. T felt a wave of desire course through their body. It was intense. It was real.
“Let’s go to the hotel,” T whispered, their voice cracking a little, causing them to self-consciously clear their throat.
“Okay,” J replied.
T led the way to the train.
…
T pushed open the door and led the way inside, with J following close behind. The room was a decent size. Large windows allowed plenty of light to shine in. The huge double bed was the main feature. T suddenly felt nervous. It had seemed a no-brainer when they had been planning this, but now they were here the reality of sharing such intimate space with someone they had never actually met in person before hit hard. What if it went wrong? Could what they thought they had between them be a huge confused misunderstanding? Was this what either of them actually really wanted?
J lay their suitcase down flat and fiddled around with the lock to open it.
“I need to freshen up a little.”
“Sure,” T replied. “You must be exhausted after your flight. Did you get any sleep?”
“Not really.”
“Maybe you should lie down for a bit?”
“Only if you lie with me,” J said with a grin, before disappearing into the bathroom.
T perched on the bed and took a few deep breaths. So far J seemed exactly as they had come across on camera. It was somewhat of a relief. Of course, some of T’s friends had been pretty skeptical, and more than one had expressed concern at T committing to a relationship with someone they had never even met. The infamous “what if they are an ax-murderer” had been thrown out there and even though T knew that was pretty ridiculous, there was still a slight niggling doubt. The pair of them had spent hours and hours talking via messages, calls and video. Yet the tiny slither of fear remained. But what if?
J really did appear genuine though. T knew their nerves were probably more about their inexperience than real distrust of J. T had never been in a situation like this before. It was one thing to fantasize about someone online. It was quite another to suddenly have them in the same room.
J came out of the bathroom and walked over to T and sank down onto the bed beside them. T felt their heart skip a beat as J reached out their hand, making gentle contact with T’s face. They closed their eyes wondering if this was it, the inevitable kiss. T longed for it as much as they feared it. What if they didn’t connect? What then? J had flown all this way…
“You look amazing,” J whispered, leaning in close enough that T could feel their breath against their cheek. T didn’t dare open their eyes.
“May I kiss you?”
T nodded. This was it.
T felt J’s fingers brush their lips gently first. It produced a tantalising tickling sensation that sent a shiver down T’s spine. Then slowly J brought their mouth to T’s. A ripple of yearning flooded through T as they felt J’s lips move against theirs. Nothing had ever felt so right. Everything outside was already ceasing to exist. All T was conscious of was J’s presence and touch and the overwhelming sensations now cascading through their body. This was it. There was no doubt now. The desire was irrefutable.
T had never felt anything like it. They had no idea kisses could be like this. How could it be, that for all these years they had never known? T wrapped their arms around J, gentle yet firm, never wanting to let go, never wanting this first union to end. It was more intense than T had ever imagined.
T felt J pulling them gently down into a lying position on the bed. Wrapped in each other’s arms, they continued the kiss, gently exploring each other, taking their time, for they had all the time in the world. T knew without a doubt this was home. This was the place they had been unknowingly searching for all this time.
The kiss ended naturally and they lay in each other’s arms, both taking in the magnitude of the moment, both in awe of the amazing synchronicity that had brought them into each other’s lives like this. T no longer cared how crazy their friends thought it was, or what any skeptic might say. This was real. The universe had wondrously brought them together, against all the odds. Love knew no borders, no boundaries. Anything was possible. Gratitude flowed through T as they held J tightly against them.
Thank you, T whispered silently to the universe. Thank you.
More of my short stories