I didn’t start telling anyone that I’m giving up alcohol for good until a few days ago and I was over a week into it. The majority of the people in my life still don’t know and may be a bit surprised to read this. The problem is I have made claims about giving up several times before and failed each time. It’s kind of embarrassing to be honest.
When I think about it though, have I actually ever really failed?
Say you decide to give up for a month and you get two weeks into that and then you cave and have a drink? Chances are you end up berating yourself with self-criticism and that one slip up becomes your whole focus. You forget the fact that for fourteen whole days you didn’t touch a drop and that is nothing other than a huge success!
I am nervous to tell people that I am giving up alcohol for good. I believe my friends and family will ultimately support me whatever I do, so it’s not that. It’s more that I am scared of failure, of disappointing myself. I can’t help but worry that people would secretly roll their eyes and laugh with a knowing, I knew she would never keep it up.
So how am I going to stay on track with giving up alcohol?
I realized when I started this, that to successfully quit, it has to be a fully conscious desire and decision. It’s necessary to work on my whole mindset. I don’t want to be a drinker who abstains, for that suggests that not drinking is a sacrifice, the avoidance of something that gives me pleasure. No, I intend to shift my whole identity and become a non-drinker. That way, there is no “loss” in my mind, therefore no more lure. Why would I covet something I don’t want?
Technically I am past the phase of any possible physical dependence on alcohol now. Any desire to drink is purely psychological, stemming from unconscious conditioning and my belief in the lies commonly perpetuated in many societies across the world. As long as I remind myself of this for as long as necessary, until not drinking becomes my new normal, then I think I will be OK.
Yesterday I told my eleven year old daughter that I have quit drinking and it’s been ten days. She just looked at me with a ‘so-what?’ expression and told me, “Well I haven’t drunk for eleven years.”
And there is the truth. Not drinking shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s just who I am now and I am happy with that.
