Self-doubt is something many of us struggle with. It can be truly paralysing. However, it doesn’t have to be.
The dream
I’m going to tell you a secret. although if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you may feel you already know it.
I want to live in Norway.
The reality
The problem is a lot of people want to go to Norway and obtaining a visa is difficult. (Don’t even get me onto the subject of Brexit here…)
You need connections with the country and a lot of money, especially when you are talking about moving across continents and you have a family to support. It makes sense that Norway wants to bring in people who will benefit the country in some way, whether financially or culturally.
Plus, speaking Norwegian is a definite advantage.
The plan
This isn’t just one of my dreamy aspirations. I’ve got a plan. I’m serious about this.
My plan is to keep writing, publish more books, build up my audience, learn Norwegian, learn as much as I can about Norway and build connections. Once I’m earning enough money from writing to support myself, I’m hoping it will be possible to apply for a visa to live there.
Self-Doubts
Pretty much as soon as I put my plan into words and wrote down the steps I needed to take, the self-doubts started to creep in.
This is going to take years and years, my ego told me. Besides, what if you never do become a successful author? What if you’re not good enough and you are destined to mediocracy?
My plan suddenly felt a bit silly. It wasn’t enough. What planet was I on?
A new plan
So then, a few days ago, I had another idea. What if I could combine my love for Japan with my dream of living in Norway by somehow connecting the two places?
What if I set up a small elite business taking Japanese students of English on trips to Norway?
My unique selling point would be that I could run the trip as an English language study trip. I could teach the participants Travel English before we went and during the trip itself. Everyone was fluent in English when I visited Norway, so my students could practice and they’d get to see a beautiful part of the world that they may not have considered visiting before.
It felt like an absolutely brilliant idea. It would connect everything. I love travelling. I’ve organised so many trips for my family and friends, and I’ve volunteered to help organise bigger events in Japan, including one that had over 100 attendees.
I thought I could take small groups of students on a truly unique trip, a totally different experience from a large tour group. It would teach them so much and give them an experience to treasure for the rest of their lives.
Hurdles
So I started researching… and fell into a massive rabbit hole of confusing legal information. To start a company apparently involves impossible sums of money and qualifications that even Japanese native speakers struggle to attain.
I couldn’t find any information at all on whether it would be legal to carry my plan out as a sole proprietor, which is the only financially realistic way for me to begin a business venture. It suddenly felt like a hard brick wall had appeared and there was no way through.
Dilemma
So yesterday, while I was waiting for my kids to come out of their evening French class, I asked ChatGPT what I should do.
“Anything is possible,” I was told.
I do buy into that outlook on life, but I also know that “anything” is often only possible with a lot of hard work and dedication. Yes, my Japanese is fairly good, so maybe I could study for that exam. Maybe I could even find funding and/or partners to start a travel company. But where would time for writing fit into all this?
Although I LOVE organising travel and I believe I’d be really good at it, I don’t know if I really want to commit to making it into a full-time business. My main passion is writing. To be honest I think I was more excited about the thought of creating detailed travel booklets about Norway and travel English guides more than anything else.
I am a writer. I want to write and create.
Back to the original plan
So, I’ve decided that for now, I’m sticking to my first plan. I’m going to write books, blog, set up a newsletter and mailing list, create free resources for my readers, build up my following, learn Norwegian, learn more about Norwegian history, culture and literature, and try and build connections with the country.
I’m not completely giving up on the idea of running trips between Japan and Norway one day. I actually ordered the exam textbook (in Japanese) to have a look at what is involved. Regardless of whether I take the test or not, there’s a lot of interesting information in that book about the travel industry, which I will enjoy reading.
Looking deeper
Once I decided to go back to my original plan, I asked myself why I wavered from it.
The truth is I think I got scared and frustrated and started to doubt myself as an author. You see, I recently overhauled this website. I switched the theme and completely revamped the home page to make it into a dedicated author site. It felt a little pretentious in some ways. I guess my ego ran away and started to panic. Me an author? Don’t be so silly…
Imposter syndrome or what?
But doesn’t everyone starting out feel this way? I have to remind myself that giving up is not an option, however scared I feel.
Positive steps forward
With the plan back on, this morning I finally signed up for an email marketing company that will allow me to set up my mailing list and create fun things such as a newsletter and an online email course.
I’ve known how important it is to build an email list for a long time, but I felt intimidated by the whole process and was never able to take the step. But today I did and I started! I’ll be working on setting it all up so I can add it to my site soon, so stay tuned.
Coping with waves of self-doubt
I think we all have waves of self-doubt. It’s a natural part of the process when you try something new or make changes. I think recognising and acknowledging that fear and doubt are an inevitable part of the journey is so important. Fear doesn’t always mean you should stop. It often means you’re onto something and should forge ahead.
One step at a time
Once you’ve accepted that change is damn scary and that feeling isn’t going away, the next thing to do is to get practical.
Break things down into manageable steps. No one gets to their end goal without following a process. You don’t even have to have all the answers in the beginning. All you need to do is get to the next step.
So here are the steps I have taken so far today:
- Researched and signed up for an email marketing service.
- Studied a little Norwegian.
- Posted on Instagram – Actually I created a new account the other day called japanorwaytravel purely for travel posts. I’m currently posting about my family’s road trip through 19 prefectures of Japan in April/May 2023. Please do follow if you think you might be interested. I’ll be posting about my trip to Norway last autumn 2022 and in spring 2024 I’ll be posting about my trip to Europe with my 13-year-old.
- Published a blog article.
None of these things individually will result in my final goal, but they will get me closer. It feels really good to know that I am moving forwards.
