Celebrating 20 amazing years in Japan.

Why Japan?

Japan. It was a place shrouded in mystery and intrigue. I used to stare at my world map on my wall beside my bed, imagining what it would be like. I also felt a little uncertain. Japan just seemed so different. In addition I hated fish and was completely unadventurous with food generally. I worried whether I’d be able to eat or not. Yet, something pulled me here.

My love for languages

Languages have always fascinated me, but especially those with different scripts. When I was a child I used to make up my own languages and my own ways of writing them. I would write diaries and fill notebooks with made-up vocabulary. I used to sit at my piano and sing in made-up tongues.

When we went camping, I would often pretend to the other kids we met in the play area that I didn’t speak English. My sister would “translate” for me, making it all up. We’d have kids thronging round us, fascinated and asking tons of questions. It all sounds a bit nuts now, but I think it was just healthy imaginary play. Of course we didn’t have switches or smart phones to entertain us like my kids do now. I spent most of my childhood in imaginary worlds.

Resolve

My love for languages ran so deep that I wanted to learn as many as I could. However, my ultimate goal was to learn a language which used characters rather than an alphabet.

At first I thought I would go to China, or maybe Hong Kong. I had a good friend from school from there and so maybe it felt a little more familiar. But during my first year of university there was a talk on teaching English in the Far East, which included a section on the JET program.

I knew from that moment on, that was what I wanted to do. It stayed with me my whole time at university. I didn’t even apply for any other job in my graduation year. Thankfully I was accepted onto the program.

Coming to Japan

I arrived in Japan on the 4th August 2002 uncertain what to expect. Aspects of the job terrified me. The thought of having to stand up in front of a whole school and introduce myself literally kept me awake in the middle of the night worrying sometimes. The anxiety grasped my insides in a tight vice-like grip.

I got through it all by being in the present moment as much as I could and trying not to think ahead. One challenge at a time. I think I managed each new experience that was thrown at me in this way.

Click here to read about my first impressions of Japan

Learning the language

I threw myself into learning Japanese as soon as I arrived. In fact, I was obsessed. At home or when free at work, I constantly had my head in a book, learning vocabulary, reading grammar and writing characters. I took every single opportunity to practice speaking that I could. This included starting conversations with random people on trains. I’d ask the other teachers questions at school, even if I already knew the answers. I also ate out a lot.

Click here to read more about my life in rural Japan

Embracing learning

People would see me alone and be curious and start chatting to me. I always met somebody, whenever I went out and quickly got to know the regulars. I’d carry around a little notebook in my handbag. There’d be these hilarious drunken conversations with strangers, where we’d end up drawing and trying to get our meaning across. Actually, I learned a lot of vocabulary in context in that way.

I took the JET Japanese courses that were offered and private language lessons with a local man. After working through all the elementary school Kanji drill books, I borrowed translated children’s books from the library, ones that I had loved as a child and so could vaguely remember the stories.

Did it work?

By three months I could carry on basic conversations, particularly with strangers, because that involved all the getting to know you questions. I’d say by a year I was fairly fluent and by two or three comfortably so. By my second year I was conversing with the English teachers in Japanese, because it was just easier and faster, sending faxes of my lesson plans to the elementary schools in Japanese, creating magazines in Japanese and English for my students and starting to make real friendships with people who weren’t just after a free English lesson.

I passed grade 2 of the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency test) after 16 months in Japan. After 3 years I passed grade 5 of a Kanji test for native Japanese speakers that covered all 1006 elementary school Kanji. (In 2020 this number was increased to 1026)

I say all this, not to “show off,” but to convey to you how passionate and dedicated I was about learning Japanese. It’s the reason I came here and it’s a large part of the reason I stayed.

The decision to stay

After my three year contract with JET ended, I was planning to go home and do a PGCE teaching degree and become a secondary school teacher. But in the final months I just knew I couldn’t leave yet. Japan had a tight grasp on me. I would miss too much, not least the language that I loved and had spent so many hours learning.

I decided to look for another job. It was that job that brought me to where I live now. Within two or three months of moving here, I met my husband. Just over a year later we were married and I found myself planning to stay in Japan potentially forever.

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Reflection 20 years later

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Things I’d miss if I left Japan

1. Low noise levels on public transport.
2. The glass of water and a hand wipe offered in most restaurants as soon as you sit down.
3. Heated toilet seats.
4. Convenience stores and vending machines absolutely everywhere.
5. Attentive customer service.

Things I definitely wouldn’t miss if I left Japan

1. Noisy election trucks.
2. Summer.
3. Not being able to find clothes or shoes that fit.
4. All the plastic wrapped in plastic.
5. Community cleaning days at 8am on a Sunday.

My favourite places in Japan

1. Mt. Daisen, Tottori pref.
2. Miyajima, Hiroshima pref.
3. The wide open expanses of Hokkaido.
4. Fukuoka city.
5. The mountains and hot springs in central Kyushu.

Things I never imagined doing

1. Giving birth without analgesics.
2. Driving down the whole country. (Hokkaido to Yamaguchi)
3. Hitch-hiking.
4. Bathing naked in a mixed hot spring outside in the centre of town.
5. Eating so many raw foods.

Things I learned from living in Japan

1. Old problems/issues follow you from your home country.
2. I`ll never be Japanese or seen as Japanese.
3. Rules don’t need to be enforced if they make sense. (Mask-wearing for example.)
4. How to kill poisonous centipedes.
5. Languages and cultures may be very different, but humans are human.

Practical struggles in Japan

1. The huge amount of paperwork that the kids bring home from school daily.
2. Not being able to vote despite being a permanent resident.
3. No dual nationality for my kids (or me).
4. The borders closing for so long during the covid pandemic.
5. The cost of flying home.

My most used Japanese expressions

1. 一石二鳥　Isseki ni cho. To kill two birds with one stone. A rule I absolutely live by.
2. 用事があります。Yoji ga arimasu. The ultimate excuse to not attend something, without needing to explain why. (Really good when you basically just can’t be arsed to go.)
3. ガツ　gatsu. Made up shortening of arigato, that I use with my family to mean thanks.
4. ちょっと～　chotto… Used so versatilely, often with a minimal gesture, to indicate you have a complaint, concern, need or request. In most cases the other person will pick it up from context so you don’t have to actually put it into words.
5. 〇〇抜き下さい　xx-nuki kudasai. Without ~. I use this an awful lot. Things I particularly ask to be removed from random foods are katsuobushi (fish flakes), nori (seaweed), raw eggs, ham and jako (tiny dried sardines)

Things I learned about life in general

1. Life is too short to spend it doing things you don’t enjoy.
2. Speaking your truth is important.
3. Life balance is vital.
4. Never make assumptions.
5. What other people think is their business, not yours.

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Japan, my home

As I look back over the last 20 years, there are so many memories. Good times, hard times, wondrous moments, baffling and confusing moments, moments that will remain painfully etched into the deepest recesses of my heart forever. And of course, Japan being Japan there’s a fair spattering of outright bonkers.

In all though, despite the challenges and frustrations, I love this place I now call home. I feel a tremendous amount of gratitude for having the privilege to live, work and thrive here. I can’t imagine ever severing my links with Japan. She’s a complex, maddening, beautiful, confusing, fascinating, aggravating, extraordinary part of my life and will be forever.

I have tears as I write this. I must admit, I wasn’t expecting that.

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